Start With WHY.
You may be finding yourself asking these questions: Why do you want to move out of your existing home? Why do you want a sustainable home? Why you aren’t buying or remodeling an existing home? Why should I start looking for a custom home builder? Think hard, consult your spouse, take your time; but whatever you do, you need to be clear about your WHY. Sort through the list of contenders and decide on the 4-7 most important reasons you are going to do this project.
Write them down and post them somewhere you will be constantly reminded of it. Maybe on your bathroom mirror, or set as the desktop on your computer. This is more important than you might realize, because it will guide some of the difficult decisions that inevitably arise, and will give clarity when you become overwhelmed or discouraged. Finally, share your WHY with your builder. This will help him throughout the entire construction of your home.
1. It's Going to Be SO Much Better
Starting out with clearly defined goals is important for any project, including building a custom home. Our goals sometimes conflict, for example hydronic heating (radiant floors) on a shoestring budget; forcing us to make choices about which ones to keep, which to change, and which to discard.
This is the first way the WHY helps. It keeps us from an “all or nothing” attitude. You know the one: “If I can’t get everything I want, then I want nothing at all!” Remembering the overall reasons you decided to build a custom home will clarify and simplify the tough choices. Using the example from above; if a primary WHY is comfort, then efficiency can play a secondary role. You may decide to reduce the amount spent on windows, insulation, etc. to create room in your budget for radiant heat.
A second major reason the WHY helps: It is far too easy to become discouraged that an aspect of your dream will not be realized, and forget how much this new home will improve your life, health, family, etc. But when you keep the WHY front and center, instead of “I’m giving up so much of my dream just to afford this home” you think “I can’t wait to move into this home, it’s going to be SO much better”!
2. Process Makes Perfect
Whether you have worked with a custom home builder before, or built your own home; at several points you’ve probably thought “That was a waste of time/money/effort”, or “I could have avoided this if I’d thought about that earlier”, or any number of similar epiphanies. The best builders use a process to optimize the planning, designing, pricing, and building phases of construction. Not only that, but they have a process process. A way to make consistent improvements whenever obstacles are encountered.
A mindset that trusts and willingly follows the process will have a much more enjoyable experience with minimal hiccups along the way.
3. Cheap Isn't Cheaper
You’ve made the decision to build a new home because it is better, not because it is cheaper than your other options. In fact, the best custom home builders use materials and Trade Partners that are usually more costly than other available options.
Experienced builders have learned the hard way that the cheap guy leaves things out of his pricing, doesn’t warrant his work, doesn’t show up on time, works slowly, cuts corners, and so on. In other words, he often costs far more than hiring the experienced and reputable professional tradesman.
Professional builders have also worked with a plethora of different materials; they know which ones perform, and which don’t.
Conscientious custom home builders will not allow cheap materials or cheap tradesmen on their projects, because they want the best results for you.
I had the cheap mindset when I first got married, much to the chagrin of my patient wife. It took years of maintaining my home and vehicles to see she was right. Like they say: “Buy the best, and you only cry once.” A mindset that understands that the best long term result almost never comes from the lowest price is critical to a successful project.
4. Engaged Partnership
Custom home building is not for everyone. If all you want is a transactional relationship—you write a check and he does this or that, and you only trust what you can see and understand—you would be far better off purchasing a spec home and repainting the walls.
Great custom home builders want you to be fully engaged; answering their questions, explaining your needs and preferences, asking questions, and solving problems together. In other words, the best results come when both you and your custom home builder view the relationship as a partnership. This keeps momentum going, and easily overcome obstacles.
Matt and Chelsea were anxious to get started on their home, and breezed through the preconstruction and selection process with very little to say. But the strangest thing happened about a month before move-in; they started having very strong opinions about many things. The color used on the base trim, or the shape of the railing spindles. All things that were agreed to in the specifications before we began construction.
As it turned out, they were moving, switching careers, getting married, and having a baby; all at the time they were designing and planning their home. And they were not engaged. When they finally came up for air, it was too late for many of the decisions. Matt and Chelsea were too busy to be fully involved, and they later regretted it. It is critical you be engaged during the entire design and build process.
5. Trusting Partnership
A good relationship requires you to trust your custom home builder team both as a experts and honest people, 100% of the time. A lack of trust is easily the quickest way to sour the experience and create disastrous results for both you and your builder.
If you cannot trust your builder, both of you will know it. You will second guess his decisions; either questioning him directly, or complaining to your spouse and co-workers. No longer is he an expert, he is a hack (in your view), thus you’ll stop following his recommendations and his process.
Luke wanted to understand the intricate details of every product, material, and process we proposed to try to save costs. But he had neither the time nor the experience to dedicate to learning and researching (which is why he hired us in the first place). Each month as the invoice came he asked us to explain why we did what we did, used what we used, etc. It was laborious, exhausting, and discouraging for my entire team. In the end, he was very satisfied with the work we did; but the anxiety all of us experienced along the way was unnecessary. A relationship based on mutual trust is the best way to work together.
Furthermore, a lack of trust that holds back on explaining your needs, wishes, goals, budget, etc. cripples your builder from helping you as much as he could. The only way to have your goals realized is to communicate them.
I once worked with Lucy on a design-build project. As we went through several iterations of the design, each time she made significant changes. As in: back to the drawing board changes. I could never get it right! Somewhere along the way I uncovered the real reason: she was concerned about getting taxed for an extra room! Immediately I was able to understand where she was coming from, and create a design that suited her to a “T”.
6. Be Decisive
“Analysis paralysis”, “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good”, "Decision fatigue". These are just a few of the phrases our culture has coined to describe a common psychological phenomenon, wherein humans become overwhelmed with a plethora of decisions, and end up making none.
I have no doubt that most people, most of the time, don’t experience this in their daily lives. But something funny happens when building a custom home. Suddenly you realize that you aren’t only choosing the furnace brand, you could choose a furnace, hybrid, or heat pump. It could be a ducted or ductless heat pump. It could be air-to-air, air-to-water, or ground-to-water. You could use radiant heat or forced air. On and on you can go; and this is just ONE of hundreds of decisions.
When this happens, you quickly realize you don’t know enough to make the decision, so you begin to research. And research. And research. All the while learning more, but rarely learning enough to be confident in your decision. Or you experience dissatisfaction that the “something better” you found online isn’t available here.
The only answer I know of is to find a custom home builder who shares your worldview, interests, and concerns; then trust your builder’s recommendations. He has the experience to know what you need. Let him limit the choices for you, and let him or his recommended Trade Partners help you find the information and make the decision.
7. Compromise
You might be surprised at this, but I’ve seen it enough it must be mentioned. Building a home when you are married is a team effort. One spouse must take the role of primary decision maker, but that doesn’t mean the other takes a back seat. When a married couple is building; their communication must be open, respectful, and frequent.
Building a custom home involves making many decisions that require you and your spouse to compromise, and sometimes you just plain don’t want to compromise. Not on the shape of the bathroom faucet!
Many couples become stronger as they work through these, but if there are already communication difficulties or an unwillingness to compromise, custom home building is not right for you.
8. It All Comes Back to Mindset
Successful projects begin long before a custom home builder or architect is consulted—it begins with by embracing the right mindset.
- Define your WHY?
- Believe it will be better
- Trust the process
- Be an engaged partner with your builder
- Trust your builder
- Make decisions promptly
- Compromise
I Don't Care About the Faucet, Let's Talk Building!
Our team will work closely with you to design and construct a custom house that maximizes your investment and provides the ideal environment for your family to enjoy now and long into the future. Get in touch today to learn how R-Value Homes can build your custom home!
